Since death comes to us all, we tend to take it for granted and not worry or think about it. But when someone close and dear to us passes away, we get to feel the enormity of the impact death causes.

Indeed, one of the saddest and most painful experiences in life is losing someone we love and care for dearly. The sense of loss can be both overwhelming and unbearable. Grief is inevitable although not everyone deals with it in the same way.

While some people may have had the opportunity to prepare for the passing of a loved one, there are those who have not had that chance, especially if the death had been sudden. In such an instance, there is no opportunity to say goodbye, making the sense of loss even more severe.

The initial reaction can be a mixture of shock, confusion and denial. It is normal to find it difficult to fully take in the enormity of loss, therefore, cutting oneself off from reality is an understandable reaction.

Nevertheless, this behaviour will not prevent the person from experiencing emotional distress, such as numbness, tearfulness or inability to cry at all. Insomnia, lack of appetite and possibly even heart palpitations are symptomatic of the anguish.

The practical tasks surrounding the death of a loved one, such as making funeral arrangements, may be a welcome distraction.

In essence, everybody grieves in different ways. Some people grieve privately while others may show their emotions openly and loudly. Thus, each individual copes the best way he or she knows how.

At some point following the initial shock and denial of the loss, reality sets in. A state of depression and anxiety may soon follow. Agitation, anger and panic attacks are some of the obvious symptoms of depression and anxiety.

There may also be occasions where some bereaved people may feel like they are ‘going mad’ because of odd experiences such as believing they have seen the deceased. Such experiences are not in any way unusual as they are the result of severe emotional and mental distress.

Guilt is often felt too, giving rise to self-reflection like, for instance, reviewing whether they could have done anything different in terms of the relationship with the deceased. Self-blame and anger may also occur.

There is no specific time scale for coming to terms with the loss. But one thing is certain, it will be a long and arduous journey. The loved ones will never be forgotten but the emotional pain will lessen with time. As the saying goes, "time heals".

The emptiness and loneliness felt by the bereaved person is all too real, therefore the network of support from family, friends and colleagues is indispensable. With such support, there are those who are able to move on and continue with their lives.

However, there are those who are unable to do so. For them, counselling or ‘talking therapy’ is particularly useful to those who have great difficulty in overcoming their grief in spite of their network of support.

However, it is not unusual for bereaved people to initially discount counselling simply because they do not believe that counselling will bring back their loved ones.

Counselling or ‘talking therapy’ indeed cannot do such a thing but it can certainly assist them to alleviate the intense pain.