Meditation master Shyalpa Rinpoche Jigmed Tenzin Wangpo talks to Meena L. Ramadas about family life, spirituality and the joy of being alive.

On his life and children

You have led a spiritual life for 40 years now. Have you ever felt like pursuing another career?

No, not really. To me, spirituality is about having complete freedom to live in the moment. I don’t consider teaching as my job. My job is to live to the fullest extent. No matter what I am doing – whether it is teaching, relating to some friends, or talking to a journalist – I feel like I am communicating with the other person by sharing our precious life. How many people do you meet in life where you can spend time talking about your life? This is part of my life. So it is more important that I spend it with compassion, by caring about you and the fact that you are listening to me.

You are married with three children. How old are your children?

They are aged eight, seven and two.

Where do they live?

Kathmandu, Nepal.

How long have you lived in New York?

I lived in New York for 20 years. I go back every summer and I am building a world peace sanctuary there.

How do you balance spiritual life with your family life?

I have to juggle my time well because it is a bit selfish of me to spend all my time with my family at the expense of my teaching. I try to organise my teachings during their vacation so that they can travel with me. Sometimes, they cannot travel with me. They have classes and so on. I do miss them because we are physically away. Sometimes, I feel home study will allow them to come with me. Thoughts like that run in my head occasionally because we are attached.

However, they have a good opportunity to stay in the monastery with the monks. They also go to "modern" school. My children also need to live their life and learn ways to live more skilfully and meaningfully.

Are you planning to nudge them in the spiritual line?

I think spirituality is necessary. Without spirituality, life is empty. Spirituality is being able to apply unconditional intelligence. That is why I try to pull everybody that I meet into spirituality. So in that way, I’m trying to teach my children everything but I am not interested in having this as their vocation. They do not necessarily have to become a lama. It is not something that I have to choose for them.

What difficulties do your students face?

When we are born we are given this priceless, beautiful life. As we get older we face sickness, old age and death. Human beings cannot live forever. So they try to live as well or happily as possible. However, people are controlled by emotions like greed, anger, jealousy, pride and discontent. The most interesting way to put it is people are looking for happiness but in the wrong places.

Do you think the search for happiness in the wrong places is caused by changing times driven by technological developments?

You can say so but once people do not discover their true intelligence, they do not have the confidence in relating to the present moment. When they do not have this confidence, everything, not just the technology, seems to become an obstacle. It should not be that way. Rather, everything should enhance their life. The reason why it becomes an obstacle is because they have no way of handling modern technology just as they cannot handle themselves.

In my tradition, we teach people ways to handle all these things including technology, emotions, feelings, wealth, spirituality; how to use and apply everything to enhance your life instead of feeling bombarded by those things.

What do you mean by true intelligence and can you give an example?

For example, one cup of tea can be fulfilling if you know how to drink it properly. When you drink tea, drink it mindfully so that you do not have the thirst for a second cup?

If you are resting for five seconds before your job, how can that five seconds be a good reinforcer to accomplish all your activities or assignment? That is one thing I try to teach.

My tradition also tries to empower people to give them an understanding of who they are and their purpose in life. No matter how rich and powerful they are, they have insecurities. So we teach them to attain freedom from all the insecurities and empower them with unconditional intelligence which is the most fulfilling, blissful state that one can experience.

What do you think people should focus on in these fast moving times?

I think people should focus on knowledge to find out who they are; how precious and impermanent this life is. I also want people to find out how meaningful it is to be compassionate and ways to reach enlightenment so that they can be free from suffering. However, the most important thing is for them to obtain knowledge that exists within themselves. This knowledge has to be discovered through spiritual teaching, blessing and discovery.

How do you cope with the changing times?

There is no use holding on to anything that you cannot hold on to. Make the most out of it; try to live as if there is no tomorrow, try to be kind to someone as if you are never going to meet that person again and try to share something as if you will never have another opportunity to share it again. As if this is my last moment, I try to celebrate with whoever I am with, wherever I am and whatever I am doing.  So do not take things too seriously because nothing is worth taking too seriously. The most serious thing that a person can feel is the very moment that the person is in. I always tell people and friends that life is not a rehearsal. If I am wasting this very moment what is the big deal if I have a nice moment tomorrow? So I try to cope with life by living in the moment.

Worldly events and human instincts

Why do you think events such as wars and episodes of human suffering occur?

There are two factors. First, human beings’ karma is not ripened to the fullest extent to (enable them to) enjoy the fulfilment in their life. Second, they have not met the teaching and understanding that empowers them to be who they truly are.

So, in this tradition we try to offer an opportunity for people to accumulate good karma. One way is to guide them to be charitable. Being charitable does not only mean to help someone else it also means to help yourself first.

So, by discovering who they are, they are learning to deal with their negative and positive sides?

Exactly. The negative and positive sides of oneself are a state of mind. If your state of mind is balanced, you will always have a balanced way to deal with negativity. Life is to cope with everything. Whoever copes the best, is considered enlightened.

What do you mean by enlightened?

For example, (Gautama) Buddha is called an enlightened person because he did not mind giving up his palace and pleasures to go into the woods to discover who he truly is. Today, certain people have billions but still want more. But, at the end of the day, like Bill Gates, you have to give it to somebody because you cannot take it away with you when you die.

So basically, it is about people finding their strengths to go through life?

Actually, we do not say go through life. Going through life sounds like a chore. People find their strength by celebrating life. Life is priceless, it is a celebration.

Finding the meaning of life

What about people who are trying to find the meaning to life but are not getting there?

They need to find a teacher to guide them and introduce that secret essence of life. One thing you do not need to buy is teachings. You have to find respect, devotion and rapport and see whether there is something to learn.

How do you propose people should do that?

People can begin by acquiring knowledge, finding your purpose in life, the meaning of life, what is your priority. Prioritise your life. If you have two jobs, maybe you can quit one so that you have enough time to focus on yourself. Instead of going out to dinner every night, maybe people can cook at home. Being with yourself is most important. When you are comfortable with yourself, you will be comfortable with everything. Once you are comfortable you will realise you are a priceless, precious jewel. And everything around you is priceless and meaningful.

If you are a charitable person, you are able to receive contentment from your ability to give. Charity is a way of celebrating your life."

Do you practise that as well?

I try my best.

Does it work?

Oh yes, it does work. Otherwise I won’t be able to travel like this. I won’t be able to share my knowledge with strangers. I relate to everybody as if they are my friends forever. Sometimes, the person who is more open to me will benefit more. Those who are not very open to my teachings reap less benefit.

So, as far as I’m concerned, I am trying my best to connect with people and also being able to enjoy my own achievement and realisation. That is why I am comfortable travelling and helping; that is our expression of generosity and compassion.

The importance of wealth

How can charity promote happiness?

If you are a charitable person, you are able to receive contentment from your ability to give. Charity is a way of celebrating your life. I think people who are charitable gain a much more rewarding experience than those who are at the receiving end. It gives you strength by giving you the freedom from attachment to wealth. You are able to use your wealth as a service for what you want to accomplish. You do not become a slave of your wealth.

Do you think the increasing pace of life is making people more greedy?

No, I would not say that necessarily. We have a choice. We have a mind. Our minds always work fast. Even if you sit in a cave in the Himalayas, your mind will be running fast. The question is how you relate to your mind. The changing times do present an increasing number of distractions but people have a choice to denounce them.

What should people focus on when they are faced with losses?

At that point I want people to consider and imagine that they have two or three breaths left before death. I would like people to then think what would be important to them. Even if somebody has millions of dollars, that person might be thinking, "can I give you all my money to extend my life for one month, one week or 10 seconds." So, that millions of dollars that you thought was so important is no longer important because you are willing to trade that money for 10 seconds of your life. So, what is most important is your breath, not your money, not your power, not your fame.

Shyalpa Rinpoche will be giving a talk on Living Fully and Joyfully on Saturday and Sunday at Gardens Hotel, Mid Valley City. Details, call Karen (0169205199), Siew Bee (0169206199) or email wgkl09@gmail.com